03.05.08

It's been a few days now and my heart, mind, and body have all together felt like they've been on a few roller coasters of many sorts. (None too extreme though, so don't get worried about being worried). I'm starting to get used to my schedule now, and I feel that as every day moves on I'm beginning to learn to adapt a little bit more and a little bit better. It's slow but sure.

I really do love being here. I feel very much awake and alive and strong and serene. In everything I do, I love to take in the deep breaths and experience it all with eyes wide open. Everything mingles with the senses here. Everything is alive and greets you with a breath of hope or blow of despair. The stench of foul sewage lingers and mixes with the hot air that rises from the streets. And, on the other side, the sweet smell of steamed corn does the same as it is faithfully stewed and tended by its familiar street vendor. This is now. It is everyday here, and I will take it all in.

The go-go bars were heartbreaking, shocking, indescribable, and detestable all together at once. As I walked in, with lights flashing and music raging, girls smiling with fictitious faces, showing us through those bleak curtains into a world of perversion and broken dreams, I took in one glance, one glimmer, one breath, and then understood that this was one thing that was not for me to take in. I couldn't be there just for an experience or a story; I stood there purely as a warriorbride, treading into the essence of evermost darkness with victory as my badge, as one who bears the mark of Heaven. I am light. And as we know, light does not mix with darkness. It pierces it. As I walked out, feeling that acrid cloud of evil falling like dark scales from my grieving skin, I prayed that what I experienced in that place would forever perturb my heart, knowing that it would leave me all the more broken, pure, and forever full of love.


Please keep me in your prayers as I continue on day to day. Pray that both my eyes and my heart would be open and that I would be willing to reach out, even in the most insignificant and miniscule ways. Pray that I would be able to be love in everyway, and that through this I would learn the lessons that God would have me to learn. Come with me as we live as though the world will be changed. All things are possible!